Birthday blues

Hi guys,

I feel so naughty because I've just got out of bed! I have an excuse, though; it was my birthday yesterday! I got so drunk last night. It all started perfectly innocent, I went out with my folks to a pub/restaurant for an afternoon meal. I had steak and chips and a pint of shandy. My mum had baked a birthday cake and she'd taken it to the restaurant earlier and so it was a nice surprise when the waitress brought it to our table. I blew out my twenty-four candles and made a wish (not telling you what it was, though, or else it won't come true, will it?)

Afterwards, I went back to my apartment with Lila and we waited for Ella and Erin to arrive. We then hit the town. I think I only bought one drink, the rest were bought for me by either one of the girls, or some of the many men who I seem to vaguely remember! Bad, aren't I? You can't blame me, though, you only get a birthday once a year! (unless you're the Queen, of course).

I got some great presents. Mum and Dad got me a new laptop so I can do some of my journalistic reports on it. It even has a camera so I can do some video blogs. Great! Lila got me a lovely make-up and bath set and I look forward to using it tonight, while I attempt to get rid of my hangover.

It is supposed to be a full moon tonight and, apparently, because I'm an early born Libran, it is supposed to be best for me if I stay in tonight and hide away. I don't usually believe in all that stuff but I'm in no fit state to be seen outside of my house tonight, anyway.

I got a surprise birthday card from Nick. It gave me a little tingle inside, strangely enough. He said that he felt bad about how we ended things and he wants to meet up again for a birthday drink. I sent him a text to thank him and we are going out on Wednesday. I'm so nervous. I'll tell you more about it next week, but until then...

Callie signing off xxx

Temporary insanity

Hi all,

Sorry I didn't post last week. I was too exhausted. I've been sent here, there and everywhere with my new temp agency. It's good that I'm earning money again, but it's left me way too tired to apply for jobs and my social life is dwindling, too.

I got a couple of days off last week, at least and so I sent some applications off for a couple of journalist jobs.

I'm dreading Monday, because I'm getting sent back to a place I've been working at for the last couple of weeks and there is an annoying woman who works there. I've had to bite my tongue several times; it seems that there is a consensus amongst certain types of people, that all temps are stupid.
I actually heard  two girls talking, while I was waiting at the vending machine, and one of them said these actual words..."It wasn't my fault, the temp did it!" and the other girl said, "Useless cow, I dunno where they get them from." I had to stop myself from thumping them. I didn't know whether they were on about me or not, but they were still insulting! That's the attitude of people, though.

Another girl in the office (where I am forced to work), gave me a pitying look, the other day, and said, "Ah, can't you get a proper job. It must be hard these days." I wouldn't mind, but she's younger than me and she was talking to me like she was my great aunt Ada!

Anyway, this stupid woman is the chief executive's PA and you'd think she was the Queen of England the way she acted. She came over to my desk, last week and said, "Mr Byron is in a meeting all morning, which means he isn't to be disturbed, understood?" I nodded and gritted my teeth at the same time. I was engrossed in my typing, when Mr Byron came over to me. "I'm expecting an important call from Sherwood's Tiling. Please make sure I get the call, " he'd said. He was much more polite than his PA (I think it's short for Pain in the Arse!)

So, as expected, this company called and so I had to go up to the meeting room to disturb the meeting. PA came out and started shouting her mouth off (all she needed was a tiny moustache and her arm in the air) and so I told her that Mr Byron had asked me to interupt, but she was having none of it and sent me away.

After the meeting I told Mr Byron what had happened and he went mad at PA and then she came and gave me grief! I'm dreading Monday. I know I don't have to go in there, but I really need to pay my bills and it keeps me busy. I don't know how anyone can work in an office like that though. I'm only there because the last admin assistant went off with stress (can't think why!).

So, tonight I'm going out with the girls, because I think I deserve it! I hope you all have a great weekend and until next time...(unless I've been sectioned!)

Callie signing off

xxx

What's a girl to do?

Hi all,

Hope you are enjoying the sunshine. It's weird how Septemember seems to be our new summer, here in the UK. I've spent the morning lazing around in my mum's garden. I stayed there last night. I know you must probably think I lead such a boring life when I stay at my mum's on a Friday night - and you'd be right, actually.

My life is boring, right now. I've been looking for work and have been so worried about paying my bills that I've not been eating (there are perks to this, for example, my new flat stomach! Yay!) and so my mum and dad came down yesterday, dragged me out of my apartment and flung me in the back seat of their car. To anyone watching, it probably looked like kidnap; it certainly felt like it!

They were just worried about me. They ordered in some fish and chips and we had a good night watching "Jack and Jill" (Adam Sandler cracks me up!) and drinking beer. It was ok, actually. Even Lila was on her best behaviour! I'm starting to think that I could actually give up my apartment and move back in with my folks, if the worst comes to the worst.

Anyway, I'll tell you what else I've been up to. I registered with some agencies and I almost karate chopped a stupid blonde bimbo, who looked as though she'd just left school, because she had the nerve to tell me (in a patronising tone) that she didn't think they would have any work for someone like me, because, although I had office experience, most companies want somebody who is reliable and she didn't think journalists were. She said that if I got a better offer then I would be off and she couldn't have somebody like that on her register. I wanted to kill the bitch, but instead I just told her that I didn't want to work for condescending, arrogant women like her and it was her loss. It was so funny to see her gaping mouth as I shimmied out of the door - stupid cow!

I did manage to sign up with one temp agency, though. They were great. It was a man, I spoke to, though, and I did the usual fluttering of eyelashes (I know it's sexist, but these are desperate times!) and he said that they got a lot of typing assignments, which would suit me and so I'm waiting for the offers to come flooding in. I might actually get to meet some nice men at some of these office, who knows? It could be fate.

Anyway, I'm going round to Ella's house tonight. She is returning last week's favour and having the girls round to her house for drinks and nibbles, tonight. I told her I'd need much more than nibbles, now that I've got a stone to put back on!

I'll catch up with you next week but until then...

Callie signing off

xxx

The world's gone mad

Hi Guys,

Phew. I haven't had a minute to stop and even breathe since I've been working for Melissa.
I can't believe that I first thought she was nice when I met her at interview; she's a total cow. Helen, who came with me to the Olympics, told me that everyone calls Melissa the 'smiling assasin'. I didn't know what she meant, at first, but then she told me loads of stories of how she makes people think she is lovely at first and gives them a couple of weeks to settle in and then she gives them all the horrible jobs and starts picking on them. Well...that was me, last week. After I got back from the Olympics (which was amazing, by the way), I was so tired and ready to go to bed for the whole weekend but Melissa had other plans. She made me go away with her to a remote village in Scotland. Apparantley, there is a woman living in a converted windmill, who everyone thinks is posessed by the devil. There have been stories in the local papers about her head spinning round and goo coming out of her mouth. Now firstly, I didn't believe that for a minute and secondly, if for the slightest reason it was true then there was no way that I wanted to go and see it for myself. You know me - I'm a total scardy cat! Anyway, I didn't get a choice did I. It turned out that I was Melissa's new scapegoat and she wanted to watch me get frightened to death. Lovely.

So, Melissa drove us all the way there and I was forced to listen to her boring music. She loves Ed Shearen and to me it is just total drone (no offence, Ed, but I much prefer Placebo). She didn't speak much, but every now and then I saw her give me a patronising glance.

Once we got there, she told me that I was to knock on the door and ask for Mrs. MacBridie and tell her we'd come to interview her. I asked Melissa if she knew we were coming and she said that if she knew, there was no way she'd have agreed and that we were going to ask her there and then. Anyway, I knocked on the door while Melissa stood miles away and this normal old woman answered. I asked her if she wouldn't mind being interviewed as it seems that she was a local celebrity and we wanted to take her story national. She invited us in for some tea and scones and, to be honest, I wasn't scared at all. Apart from looking a little bit witchy (long grey straggly hair, thin skeletal body and wearing lots of black) she was quite nice. Anyway, once Melissa knew there was nothing to be scared of, she started asking the woman loads of questions about what she thought about what people were saying and the woman said that just because she didn't look like other elderly women, people have started rumours and she was quite happy to let them think all of this evil stuff because it meant she got to be left in peace and there was no danger of any hoodies beating her up.

Once we'd asked her the questions (I could see Melissa was disappointed that she didn't try and turn us into frogs) we got up to go but then the woman wouldn't let us out. She said that we had some nerve coming into her house and accusing her of being a witch and as punishment she was going to keep us prisoner for a bit. When Melissa got out her mobile phone to call the police the woman grabbed this pole thing from the fireplace and started hitting Melissa with it. She knocked the mobile out of her hand and took it. She then threatened to beat me up unless I gave her my phone (which I did, obviously - the woman was a total psycho!)

After that she told us to sit down and she just sat there staring at us and giggling. I must admit, the giggling did sound kind of evil and I was starting to get really scared. The woman then opened the cupboard above the television and got out this mini cauldron thing and told us that she was going to do a spell and put a curse on us. She started chanting in some strange language and I swear I nearly puked up. Melissa was pale and I thought I saw her body shaking.

After about an hour the woman stood up and said we could leave. 'And don't come back again!' she screamed after us. I don't believe for one minute that she was posessed by the devil, but I think she was a total nut job who needed to be locked up for good. I kept wondering what would have happened had she not let us go? I told Melissa that I didn't think these sorts of assignments were a good idea but she freaked out and said that if I didn't want to go to see evil people then I was in the wrong job. I told her that if I'd wanted to work with psychos I'd have joined the police and then she said that if I wanted to stay in this job that she'd be sending me on all the demonic cases. I told her that it was totally unfair of her to do this and she said that she could do what she wanted because she was the boss. We travelled the rest of the way in total silence (except for Ed Shearen) and then when we got back home (last night) I told her that I'd had enough and she could find a new mug to give up their lives for that job.

So there, I have no job, I've had no sleep and I've probably been cursed. Great, eh? Other than that I'm feeling quite good. I'm going to go back to bed now because I'm totally exhausted and fed up and until next time...

Callie signing off

xxx

Worn-out Wednesday

Hi guys,

I'm starting to feel really run down again. I think it's the stress of Christmas approaching faster than a high speed train. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, but I haven't really had as much time as I'd like, to get things done. I've bought half my pressies but I don't know what to get Lila or Ella. They are both quite spoilt and like to have designer stuff and I can't afford anything like that. I don't know what to get Scott either and whether or not I should get Nick anything. Stress! I've sent out my cards, at least and I put up my decorations last night. I got one of those black trees and it looks quite trendy with all my pink baubles and pink tinsel on it - very Goth!

I've also bought some Baileys and two tins of chocolates as one tin never lasts long enough. Now that Scott has seen me naked and not done a runner I'm assuming he doesn't think I'm that fat, so I've decided to eat as much as I usually do over Christmas and then start my diet again after Christmas. I used to know a girl at college who used to weigh about eighteen stone and she had this boyfriend who'd asked her to marry him and so she went on a mega diet and exercise plan that Madonna would have struggled to keep up with and she ended up losing loads of weight and she was able to fit into a size 8 wedding dress. The trouble was, two weeks before the wedding her fiance said he didn't fancy her now that she was thin and he called the whole thing off - I don't want that to happen with me and Scott do I? All I can say is, "Pass me that hazelnut caramel, yum yum."

I'm going to have to end here now because I can hear Christmas music and I think it's our local Round Table Charity Christmas sleigh (We have a lorry that goes around the streets at Christmas and it has a trailer attached to it with Santa on it. He throws sweets for the kids and he plays loud Christmas songs and people go around with collection tins.) I'm such a big kid myself I don't want to miss it. So, until next time...

Callie signing off

xxx

Windy Wednesday

Hi guys

I'm typing this after being attacked by a rubbish bin that had just been emptied. It has been so windy the past few days (that is an understatement, actually - the gusts have been gale force) but fortunately I'd not had too many problems, until today. I was driving down the road, minding my own business, singing along to Maria Carey's Christmas song when I was almost forced off the road by a black bin that was blown into my car at a most inopportune moment. It thumped the side of my car so hard it's left a dent and made me scream like a banshee. I was just glad that it hit the side of my car and that it hadn't been launched in front of me causing me to swerve or worse-I could have been  killed! (Let's just say I will be sticking to the speed limit in future.)
Anyway, that was the bad news. I'm feeling a little better now that I've had three cups of strong tea with lots of sugar in it (good for shock apparently). The good news is...(drum roll), Scott has asked me to go to his work's Christmas dinner with him! Nobody has ever asked me to do that before; probably because most of them have been too ashamed to be seen with me or something. Isn't that great? He must like me. All his bosses will be there and everything. We are going to the Lowry in Manchester. It will be so cool. I even get to wear a formal evening dress. Just call me "Posh". I can't stop thinking about it. When I log off I will have to get ready to go out with Nick to a man who claims to be the real reincarnation of Elvis Presley. I don't think he is, not because I don't believe in reincarnation (my mind's still open on that one) but because if Elvis were to come back again, I'm sure he would pick a better place to live than a council house in Runcorn. It should be interesting though and will probably take my mind off the excitement of Scott's party and the shock of almost being tragically killed by a rubbish bin. I will tell you all about it on Friday. But until then...


Callie signing off

xxx

Mad Monday

Hi guys

I had a day off today. The heating broke at work and it was against health and safety for us to come in as the bad weather meant we'd freeze to death or something like that. So I did something I thought I'd never do; I joined my local gym. I've only just got back. I only went at 4 o'clock though, because I went back to bed after my boss called with the good news.
I got weighed, poked and prodded at the gym, which was a little humiliating but it was for my own good because now they've put together a fitness program for me, which will focus on my jelly thighs and stomach. You're probably wondering why I'm suddenly so bothered about my health, right? Well, the other night, after eating lobster (which I thought was horrible, by the way) we went back to Scott's house. I felt bloated after my strawberry cheesecake and four pints of lager and so when Scott's hands moved to unzip my dress I jumped up like he'd set me alight and told him I wasn't feeling well and needed to go home. I'm surprised he didn't dump me. He said he understood that we hadn't known each other for long and he actually apologized! As soon as I got home I realized that I had to do something about my weight if I wanted to feel confident with him. I suppose I've become quite relaxed about it because men usually don't stick around long enough for me to worry about sleeping with them, but things seem different with Scott. I need to shift some pounds and that means cutting out some of my fave foods too. It is going to be so hard with Christmas just round the corner but if I can't do it alone my new trainer, Paul, will make damn sure of it.
I'm thinking about getting a dog, too. Yesterday, I went to visit Scott at the animal rescue centre and I fell in love with a little jack russell puppy called Spud. He's so cute. He needs to be house trained, though and I haven't got the time at the moment and it wouldn't be fair so I've asked Scott to look out for a small house-trained dog that doesn't mind being left alone while I'm at work.
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you...Lila quit her job. I knew it was too good to be true her actually liking work. She blamed it on one of the customers. She said he tried to molest her when she was measuring him for spectacles. I don't know how he managed this, considering both of them need to be sitting down when this happens.She told me she went to her supervisor immediately but she took the man's side and so Lila, being Lila, grabbed her coat and handbag from the back room and walked out. It was funny how she did this the day after she'd phoned in for an application form for next year's X-factor. Anyway, that's all the news I have for today. I will update you again on Wednesday. Until then...


Callie signing off

xxx