Sabbatical

Hi guys,

Sorry I've not been in touch for a while, but I've not been myself lately and I didn't feel like getting out of bed, never mind updating my blog. On the 30th January, just when we all thought my dad was OK,  his condition deteriorated and he went into cardiac arrest. Unfortunately, this time, they couldn't revive him and so he passed away. I have no words to express how I feel, because I've never known anyone die before (my grandparents passed away when I was too young to understand) and the emptiness is just so unbearable. I've spent most of my time walking around my local nature reserve, crying. I try not to do this at home, because then it starts Mum and Lila off,  and I don't want to upset them any more than they are already.  Mum's been quiet, and she's been spending a lot of time with her friend, going out to the local bingo and shopping. She keeps coming back home with all these things that we don't need, but I know she's doing it to take her mind off things.  Lila is much the same, although I know she is just putting on a brave face, because I heard her crying in her room the other night.  I don't know when I'll get over it.

The whole situation has made me realise that life's too short, and I've decided that I need to re-evaluate my life, as I've known for some time that my job isn't satisfying me any more. I think I've outgrown journalism. I need to do something more meaningful, but I don't know, as yet, what that could be.

Ben started to get annoyed with me for being so depressed all the time. He was OK, at first, but the other night he said that it had been almost two months and I should be over it by now. I was hurt that he could say something like that and I realised that I didn't know him at all, really. It was his looks I fell for; he was the image of my hero, Dave Grohl, but deep down I knew this wasn't enough any more. I'd called Lila shallow enough times for going out with men just for their money, yet here I was, doing the same thing because of the way somebody looked. He was a great cook, too, I'll give him that (and you know how much I love food), yet I've lost my appetite recently and Ben, too, didn't seem so appetising any more. So, I dumped him. It had been going well between us, but looking back, I knew it was only shallow fun and that there wouldn't be a future in it.

I now know that going along with the flow leads to unfulfilled lives, and before you know it, you've let important things slip by while you've been too busy having fun.

Sorry if you were expecting my usual cheery blog post, but I think it may be some time before I feel able to write anything lighthearted; therefore, I am going to leave this blog for a while. I've decided to go to America and stay with Lily for a bit. She says I can stay as long as I like. I've saved up enough money for the air fare, and my boss has agreed I can take six months off, unpaid and they will leave my position open. If I need any longer, then I will lose my job,but, at this point in time, I'm not sure if that's a bad thing. I won't be working with Lily this time, I'm going to try and get a waitressing job or something similar, just to keep me going and help Lily with food and bills, but I just need to get away. Being at home reminds me too much of Dad, and there's a big world out there, waiting to be explored. I might check in, every now and again, but I feel it may be some time before I'm able to blog regularly again.

So, until next time (whenever that may be...)

Callie signing off

xxx

Back to work blues

Hi guys

How are you all on this lovely Sunday evening? It's been gorgeous here in the UK this weekend. It has felt like Spring with the lovely sunny and mild weather we've been having.

Yesterday, I went to our local nature reserve with my new guy! We had a nice stroll and he surprised me with a picnic. He had it in his backpack all along and I had no idea! Turns out he's a great cook outside of the workplace too! He'd made some gorgeous tuna salad wraps, some cheese and pickle barms and some quiche. He knows me well, already, because he also brought strawberries and some blueberry muffins. We washed it down with a couple of cans of lager that he'd also had the foresight to fetch along. All in all, it was a perfect day.

Last night, I went out with Lila. She'd won some tickets, in a local supermarket's raffle, to see a show and so we went. I don't usually like musical theatre, but it was something different. It's my New Year's Resolution to try something new, at least once a week.

Oh yeah, I'll leave the best until last...I got that job I interviewed for last week. I start tomorrow, so, like most of the population, I am dreading going into work tomorrow after a relaxing two weeks off (well in my case it was more like four months off, LOL!) and I also have New Job Fear, which is when you feel extra dread because you have no idea what it's going to be like and whether you'll be able to last until 5pm before wanting to poke both your eyes out or whether it'll be so much fun that time will fly and you won't want to tear yourself away. I hope it's the latter. Fingers crossed!

Anyway, if you are one of those unfortunate souls who is going back to work after an extended festive break, then Good Luck to you; I hope it goes well. Just remember - after a few hours it'll feel like you've never been away!

Anyway, I've got to go and get a nice hot bath to try and relax me, so, until next time...

Callie signing off
xxx

Happy New Year

Hi guys,

Hope you had a great Christmas and New Year. Did you have fun, last night? I did, for once. I usually hate New Year's Eve, but last night was amazing. I've been meaning to update you on my new romantic situation, but it's been going so well I didn't want to jinx it!

Do you remember I told you about Lila's new job in the American Diner and how she was going to try and set me up with the manager? Well, it worked! I am so in lurve, guys.  I'll tell you how it all happened...

I went to the diner with Lila and she introduced me to the most perfect specimen of manhood I have ever seen. He looks exactly like my hero - Dave Grohl. He is gorgeous. When Lila said she was going to set me up with her boss, I didn't have high expectations, because Lila's taste in men is nothing like mine, but she did good this time! I think her exact words were something like, "I told you he looked like that singer you like, didn't I?" Well, she did tell me, but I didn't believe her! I don't want to gush all through this post, but he is just lovely. He is polite, he's a total gentleman and he treats me well. The fact he is manager of an American Diner, is just a bonus ('coz I get to eat the most yummiest food ever for free!).

Last night, Ben - that's his name, by the way - was working and so Lila, Erin, Ella and I all had our tea there and once the diner closed, at midnight, we all went on to a nearby club. Ben loves the same music as me and he knows he looks like Dave Grohl and he makes the most of it! I am just so happy. I am hoping that 2013 is the year that my love life finally gets sorted! Keep your fingers crossed for me, guys. The only thing I need to focus on now is my career. I've got an interview lined up at another local newspaper, next week. I'll let you know how that goes, but until then...

Callie signing off

xxx