Saturday, 25 February 2012

Creeps prefer blondes

Hi all

Today, I thought I'd tell you about a little experiment I decided to try as something new for my column. You all know that there's been a lack of interesting stories to investigate, recently and so I suggested to my boss, that seeing as I was currently bald and in need of a wig, that it might be something to write about. I told him how I was thinking about wearing a long, blonde wig for the week to see if gentleman preferred blondes and if blondes had more fun (because, I am in serious need of fun, believe me).  I almost fainted when he agreed.
So, I went into town and bought the aforementioned wig and I thought I looked quite good in it, although it swamped my petite frame a little. Lila thought it was hilarious and said I looked like Barbie, but my mum thought it looked good. "I always wanted you to have hair like a girl," she'd said, stroking the wig. "I do have hair like a girl, when I've not been scalped," I'd replied and she then said that she hated the 'punky' look I normally have. I told her it was modern and that all the cool journos wore their hair like that, but now she'd seen my Rapunzelesque look she wanted me to stay that way. I was half considering it, until the experiement...

The first thing I did was to go for a walk into town wearing it. I had men wolf-whistling and staring at me until their eyeballs almost exploded. What a load of pervs! Some of them were old enough to be my grandad. I then went to the cinema with Ella. She had a laugh when she saw me and I did feel jealous of her lovely red bob as I munched on my popcorn. I was starting to get into the movie when popcorn kept hitting the back of my head. Eventually, I'd had enough and I turned round to confront the culprit, expecting it to be some teenage yobbo, but it was a man, about thirty, who just smiled and winked at me. That was when I decided to leave the cinema, dragging Ella with me. We both went to the pizza parlour for some tea and the waiters kept bringing us extra bits and pieces such as tacos, salads and even a free bottle of wine. This had never happened before. The wig did have some benefits, I suppose.

On Thursday I borrowed Erin's Mum's dog and dressed in my scruffiest tracksuit and trainers, devoid of make-up, with my wig pulled back into a ponytail. Again, men in cars beeped while their eyes popped out of their heads. Another man walking a dog, stopped to ask me about Petal (the dog I was walking) and I pretended I was her owner and the lech asked me out, but I refused because he was old enough to be my dad.  I was getting annoyed with all the attention the wig was getting me.

On Friday I went out for a Chinese with Lila. She'd sent her hubby back to America. He'd finally gotten the message that she was over him. He agreed to file for divource. She obviously didn't see in him, what we all saw in him - total gorgeousness and a lovely, kind, personality. He didn't have the money to go with it, though. And that was always Lila's top priority. Lila's pretty and we usually get plenty of attention when we are in the Chinese but this time the waiters were saying, "Who's your friend?" to her (meaning me!). They see me all the time. I was starting to get annoyed. I felt like ripping the wig off my head and letting it go out by itself - it certainly attracted more attention in a week than I'd managed in twenty-three years.

Today I have folded it up and placed it back into the box. I was going to sell it online but something made me keep it. Who knows when I may need it again. It was fun, while it lasted but I want to go back to my usual ignore self. I'm quite looking forward to be able to walk down the street without a second glance, although my shaved head may still attract some looks (mostly of digust, but still).

I concluded, from this experiment, that men do prefer blondes - but not just any man, pervs mostly. And I didn't have more fun being blonde, although I did get a lot more free stuff when I went out. It's back to black for me. I will catch up with you all next week, but until then...

Callie signing of


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